Now, it's not that hard to sign in to Blogger.com and actually click on the 'new post' tab is it?..But why on earth did it take me around four months to actually do it? Fuhh..fuhhh..tiup sini..tiup sana..mmg da bersawang da blog nie...kalau ad spider egg da hatch into baby..da jadi parent spider and dah dead da after laying another group of eggs..uhuhu..what am I crapping about..jangkit wit somebody la tadi ni..lalala~
Newayss...I'm settling down well here back in Christchurch Canterbury..Dah around two weeks having classes and all..uhuhuhu....why do I feel classes mcm a bit leisure at times, such that I got 'sounded' by a really nice lecturer in the 'Investigating English' class recently..Goodith's class..I was sort of bugged by something which I seriously shouldn't be bugged by..I'm sorryyyyy......=(
huhu.. point is, even that nice Goodith was able to detect my loss of concentration and managed to pick on me to answer further questions..Man, what have I turned into? But still, I was sort of able to smile a little bit back then..thinking about the act of thinking..moral of the story..Don't think too much! hihi..
Let's talk about poetry class..just to enlighten up the mood..well, at least my mood..haha..But before that, let me provide a little background information about Literature first though..a little scaffolding, if you may....hopefully nobody gets lost in my sea of writing cos right now I feel like my thoughts and ideas are scattered everywhere..
Literature can be defined as 'a disciplined technique for arousing certain emotions'..(No wonder I liked it so much..I like talking about emotions..eagerness, confidence, compassion, ambivalence, and above all..love..such was my fondness for emotions that every question John asked in 'Teaching Literature' class would be associated with how they arouse emotions...huh~ lame me...)
He asked us why we think a set of poems should be called literature..
I replied 'Cos it arouses our emotions'
(psstt..it's on da powerpoint slide anyway)..
John then said 'Well, a newspaper article could arouse emotions too..why isn't that literature?'
Dush2..now, how do you reply to that? I think I've got the answer now John..you know you mentioned something about literature being a question minus the answer? That's why! Newspapers always give us answers..we never really had to think beyond that..they give us cold, hard, solid facts and that's just about it...poems, on the other hand, feed into our need for beautiful expressions of life, for some sense of mystery, and probably ambiguity too...which is why I'd rather read a poem than newspapers..ahaha...self-justification taking place..tettt~
Back to poetry just now..Despite being conspicuously bitter (I picked this up in poetry class..it means obviously or apparently painful to endure..uhuhu..) I felt like there's some pleasure in it...My lecturer's Maggie Wilkinson, an energetic woman, I must say..probably in her fifties..She obviously knows a whole lot about literature and how to teach it..a factor which never fails to amaze me..I mean those who know so much about the art of literature..you know, playing with words, looking at something at a deeper level and from a totally different perspective..as contrasted by merely analysing something at a superficial sentence level..and settling down with the cliche' views we commonly hold..
somebody like Mr Aslam maybe (terbatuk2 Mr Aslam whom I share the same birthday with...huu..) who captures people with reasoning behind why and how something is written..
or somebody like someone I know who could mould his feelings and emotions into a beautiful work of written art..a true poet! (Actually, this sentence was taken from my journal I wrote recently..and the moment I wrote about this person..my ink started to run out..just as much as his love for me may have...ucece...ouch, that hurts..tryin to be poetic too, ea Mira..naahh..)
Never mind, when something withers, another grows and flourishes so beautifully. You should always believe that there will eventually be someone who will lighten the dark canals of your life..laying the cloths of heaven at your feet..Tread softly, though, for you tread on his dreams...but what about my dreams? and really..how many people's dreams are there in the picture?
Right now, I dream I can run, run like the winds and be strong..
when my heart just wants to give in......
But whatever it is Ya ALLAH, I pray only this....
" If this matter be good for my faith and Addeen, my livelihood, and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter, then let me be close to it..if in Your knowledge this matter is bad for my faith, my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter, then turn it away from me..You have power and I have none.."
(Istikharah dua')
I have realised something, though. Probably there's great hikmah in all these..whatever that is happening in my life...how my emotions seem to be bubbling in a couldron..how I can't quite see where exactly the end of the tunnel will lead me to..All these have shown me that I have been too pre-occupied with the unreal elements of life..say, mortal love..to the extent that I forgot the ultimate love above..ALLAH's love. I have realised that no matter what I do, where I go, ALLAH will always be there for me and that I need to turn to HIM in whatever circumstances..Most importantly, I shouldn't be thinking too much about the love of men (this may not necessarily be men as in men..it can be generally interpreted as parental love, friendship etc.) and the approval of others till I forget to think about ALLAH..Have I done enough to gain the best of ALLAH's love? Will my prayers be answered by HIM as an indication of HIS love for me?
Note that literature and love both share the same meaning.
They are questions minus the answer.
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